Salt of the Earth

I like to start mornings with a dose of headlines while I eat breakfast. You’d think that would put me off my feed but no; S&P downgrade be damned, I’m hungry. This usually involves egg whites on a small, mashed russet potato, nestled in steamed fresh spinach with garlic, a side of fresh berries and coffee.

 This morning’s news offerings were mainly about the current economic turmoil. But one article stood out, ‘Deadliest New Fast Food’ on The Daily Beast. None had less than 1,200mg of salt. One dish even weighed in over a whopping 3,000mg with its ham, cheese, fried hash browns, sausage gravy and bacon crumbles on top of two flour biscuits.  THAT makes my stomach turn more than an economic meltdown.

Many people have heard about my typical meals and tease me for it. Or ask why I can’t be ‘normal’. If normal is that monstrosity listed above, I’ll pass like a pro QB all day long. These types of heavy meals are usually touted on menus as home cooking meant to appeal to the everyman, the working class, attempting to recall a simpler time and evoke feelings of nostalgia. When some people hear of my usual menu I get eye rolling, told I’m ‘too fancy’ and asked if I ever eat ‘regular food’.  It took me years to figure out what people mean by this. Most aren’t looking down on me for my eating habits; they just have a smaller comfort zone than I.

Please indulge me as I retort in ‘everyman’ vernacular: my old man was a blue collar worker, we lived in a city dependent on the auto industry and I was raised in a Polish/German family. I’m well aware meat and potatoes are standard and I’ve had more than my fair share because you don’t get to be this fat without eating knockwurst, perogi and the like on a regular basis.  By mocking my food choices and suggesting I’m elitist because I politely decline tater tot casserole doesn’t mean I feel its beneath me (I love it!) it means I want to live longer.

While I was typing this I received an e-flyer from fast food restaurant Jack in the Box for their newest meal, the Jumbo Breakfast Platter. After a zero effort I found the nutritional data at impulsivebuy.com.

A Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Bacon: 657 calories, 37 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 422 milligrams of cholesterol, 1298 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 27 grams of protein. Jumbo Breakfast Platter with Sausages: 747 calories, 47 grams of fat, 10 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 438 milligrams of cholesterol, 1168 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 26 grams of protein.

Wow. That’s just… heart-stopping.

Today’s lie to start the week right: I don’t crave drive-thru dining on a regular basis.