When I was 18 my first job was stocking shelves at a store that was a mix between Kroger and Kohl’s. One night a dad came into the household section to buy himself bed sheets and he brought his adorable five year old son with him. The father selected black satin sheets and the son deemed them ‘sexy’. Us workers on that aisle were stunned to hear that word from someone so small and were too stunned to ask why he knew the meaning and to use it in proper context. Was this dad treating his five year old as a buddy instead of a child?
The next time I noticed a stunning display of parenting I was twenty-seven and at a bar on a Friday night. Friends and I were drinking, smoking and having a good time. The music was loud and it took me a while to realize there was a birthday party for a one year told taking place in the back. The mother of the child had the toddler propped up on her hip, her other hand contained her beer and lit cigarette. This was sad but it didn’t affect me. Not right then. No, that came later on when a six year old guest was guided through the pool tables (seriously the kid was nearly hit with pool cues several times) by his father, who stopped to tell me my swearing wasn’t appropriate. I would have totally agreed with him and told him as much. However I felt it pertinent to point out we were standing in a smoke-filled bar at eleven o’clock on a Friday night so perhaps his child is the one who was out of place, not I. I was full of righteous indignation!
Like I was last weekend when Jennifer and I went to see Twilight: Breaking Dawn. Stop chuckling, it’s our thing and we like the bad acting from the hot actors. We were chatting away when we saw a family of 4 adults and what looked like a six year old girl stroll into the theatre. That’s not a good movie for kids, particularly girls. There’s sex scenes and situations that made me uncomfortable because I knew a kid was in the audience.
I know people want to spend time with their kids but not every situation is appropriate. And forcing the fruit of your loins into situations isn’t appropriate. It makes it awkward. Last night I was at the Arizona Cardinals game against the Dallas Cowboys and there were a lot of small tykes with their parents. The parent has spent $75 for a ticket, $4.50 for a hot dog, $4.50 for a Coke and $6 for a beer. They want to watch the game but get frustrated because the toddler is bored and squirming around. The woman ahead of me in line to enter the stadium was carrying a child who couldn’t even walk yet. I was curious if she’d even be able to watch the game.
I keep stories like the one above in mind when I’m called selfish for not having children. Heck, its not just the childless that are getting belittled. Jennifer and her husband attended a party last weekend (they had a babysitter- ME) and a woman pregnant with her sixth child made disparaging comments that Jennifer and her husband only have one. I don’t know if this woman thought there was a prize for the most offspring or perhaps she’s one of those individuals who feel the number of children you have is in direct proportion to how good of a parent you are. Regardless, I’m told this woman had nothing else to talk about. No hobbies, interests. If it didn’t involve her children, it didn’t exist.
Please, stop forcing your progeny on us when its just not suitable. I don’t go to kid-friendly places like Red Robin or the lines to see Santa, don’t force me to dial down my salty language at an R-rated midnight showing of a movie because you don’t want your kid exposed.
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