Frenemies?

When meeting people for a meal at a restaurant, its usually the same routine: we’re seated, handed menus and the waitperson arrives to take our drink order and give the specials. We’ve all done this countless times, with little to no thought. But have you ever sat across from a friend or relative who asks with a gleam in their eye ‘what are you getting’? Sure, who hasn’t? But there are those dining companions who aren’t asking out of mere curiosity so much as using you as a gauge. If you order something fattening, they can too with no guilt. Its win-win!

I have many friends, some fat, some not. But what they all have in common is they wouldn’t dream of sabotaging my efforts to get and remain healthy.  They don’t try to tempt me into splitting an appetizer drenched in ranch dressing, goad me into ordering an entrée swimming in fat or mock me for eschewing the dessert list. In short, my friends are supportive of my food choices as I remain supportive of theirs. This is not always the case.

There are times when I’m not always around them. For example at office gatherings or celebrations of those you don’t know as well, like a friend of friend’s birthday. There’s usually at least one person at the table who will try to seduce me with fried coconut shrimp with orange marmalade dipping sauce, cheesy garlic knots with ranch (wow is that an overused item) or bacon covered tater skins with (yup) ranch. I’ve been told to ‘loosen up’ or ‘enjoy the moment’ or my personal favorite, ‘live a little’.

Actually I want to live. A long time. Hence why I try to eat something healthy before I go out or at least ask for steamed veggies in place of the fries. These people don’t know me, know what I’m up against or why I make the decisions I do when ordering. But they so badly want the bacon chicken quesadilla with queso pictured on the menu that some have actually resorted to snide remarks. I once had an acquaintance chide me for declining the tempura they offered. We were at a sushi restaurant where, I’ll grant you, its much easier for me to eat. This near stranger was incensed I didn’t want to partake of their fried bits of what have you, that they actually got up and moved because I was being (their words) a snob. Sigh.

I gave this thought on the way home from that dinner, where I’d eaten all sorts of fresh fish, seafood and vegetables. Perhaps the person was feeling poorly about their own choices and turning their frustration toward me. Or the guy was a jerk since he tried to have his $50 platter split among the rest of us.

Its important that regardless of your surroundings or dining companions, stick to your guns about your food choices. Would he have acted the same if I said I had a food allergy? Doubtful. That moment also reminded me why I chose the friends I have and I loved them all the more for allowing me to be me.

Today’s lie: People will focus more on their own food choices and stop worrying about mine.